Do you suffer from loneliness, feel disconnected or suffer from a sense of separateness at a deep level? To some extent loneliness is part of growing up. From birth we start the process of separation and growth towards becoming individuals.
Whether we have a smooth or bumpy ride from birth to adulthood, there are sure to be times when the process of growing up into our separate selves feels difficult. There will be times when we experience feelings of anxiety, insecurity, abandonment and of feeling unloved, in other words when we feel lonely. It’s a balancing act that continues throughout life between the acceptance of isolation and the search for intimacy.
Many people who look for help with feelings of loneliness have active social lives, a stable relationships and a busy job. It is possible to feel lonely in a crowd.
As our busy culture is geared towards extroversion and on togetherness, we often confuse being alone with solitude and to think of them both in a negative way. However there are many people who choose to live a solitary life and are very happy doing so.
It’s possible to overcome loneliness, but we need to be determined and active. If we just wait for others to do it for us, it won’t happen.
Our top 10 tips for overcoming loneliness.
1. Practise kindness. Complete one act of kindness for another being each day.
2. Take up voluntary work. If you have some spare time why not think of working as a volunteer. There are lots of groups who would welcome an extra pair of hands.
3. Do something productive. Clean your home, weed the garden, or tidy your cupboards.
4. Local interest groups. There are many local groups and societies that cater for a wide range of interests and tastes.
5. Join a class. Classes are a great way of learning something new and meeting people.
6. Pick up the phone, or write an email. Don’t wait for people to contact you, take the lead.
7. Join an exercise group. Get fit and meet people.
8. Go for a daily walk in the park or woods. Connect with nature.
9. Learn to be alone practise how to feel relaxed in your own company, yoga, meditation or even just keeping a journal can help you relax
10. Keep a gratitude log. Remember to look for the good things in your day. Make a note of 3 good things that have happened to you each day.
Remember that no one person can complete all our emotional needs. In order to keep loneliness at bay we need to become more self reliant and to value solitude and to take an active role in overcoming it.
Do you have any tried and tested tips for overcoming periods of loneliness and for feeling connected? Why not share them with us?